Op-ed by Haika Mrema
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
A woman went viral on TikTok after complaining about the challenge of finding a “masculine man” that isn’t conservative, calling it “one of the saddest realizations” she’s recently had.
“As a liberal woman, it is really hard to find a man who’s willing to play the more traditional masculine role in the relationship in today’s day and age who is not a conservative,” she starts.
She lists attributes describing a masculine man, such as paying on the first date, opening the door, and caring and providing for a woman.
“Obviously as a liberal woman, I do want to be respected for my independence and I do want to have my own autonomy in the relationship and not be combined or conform to the traditional, female, homemaker, childbearing role,” she adds. “And most of the men that I dated who do have that natural provider masculinity about them are normally conservative.”
The woman ends by saying she does not want to “compromise” on her “morals and values” to find a man but questions if she’s asking to “have my cake and eat it too.”
The answer to her question is a resounding yes. It’s unlikely to find a traditionally masculine man who would enjoy being with a progressive liberal woman. The two archetypes contradict each other.
Men possessing traditional masculine traits are likely to have conservative values because they understand how valuable the traditional male and female roles are in preserving a natural order in our society, an idea most progressive men are willing to abandon.
Liberal men are less likely to value that natural order in pursuit of “equality” and “equity” with women, which goes against the original structure of our families and society.
Men and women are not the same, and traditional men understand that. Those men aren’t looking for a woman to be “equal” to them but to compliment them by embracing their innate feminine nature (including keeping the home, bearing children, and raising a family).
Like any agreement, there is an exchange. For a man to provide, a woman must be willing to be provided for and serve in the ways he needs.
As women continue to be fed the lies of feminism, claiming they can have all the benefits of a relationship without sacrificing in return, we need to have more conversations like these that raise important questions that feminism refuses to acknowledge.